You wanna' talk about a journey? Here's one. A long one. A trek. And no one can take my journey for me. It's all me. I'm not done with my long trip. I can't compare my traveling with others. No one can make my decisions, or have my will power, or make it happen for me. You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about weight loss.
My journey started shortly after I got married. I've never been a super skinny girl, but maintained a somewhat normal, curvy, healthy weight. I always told people I went straight from puberty to a "hearty" size six. I pretty much did. I would fluctuate and get up to an 8 but I always got myself back down. Six was my magic number.
After I got married, I quickly put on the "freshman 15"...I didn't go away to college so I always just say I put it on when I got my MRS. degree. Probably three or four months into marriage I decided it was time to do something about my lifestyle. Never having been an exerciser that was my first decision. I decided to learn how to exercise. For the next two years or so I became an avid walker. My decision to make exercise apart of my lifestyle was somewhat spiritual. I didn't WANT to do it. I had to surrender to it. I had to say to myself you know what? I give up. I can't lose weight just dieting, I've got to get off my tail and exercise. After I surrendered to that thought, I started walking every morning before work for an hour. Yes, I would have weeks of where I didn't exercise and weekends were sort of horrible, but making the effort to learn how to do it was the first step. I quickly became bored with walking. Not only that, but due to my zealous eating I never lost any weight walking. Exercise, however, did make me feel really good. I love endorphins! Over the course of the first three years of marriage I took up: Taebo, Workout DVDs, Running, Interval training, weight lifting, and Yoga. I became a person who truly enjoyed a variety of exercise.
Now as far as eating goes...I'm a food lover! I love to cook and I LOVE to eat. I tried weight watchers, but didn't wanna' pay ten dollars a month. I tried counting calories but I always went over. I don't really remember when I "got it" but at some point I just started eating all day every day and that's when I started losing weight. I ate the same thing for breakfast every day. Raisin bran or organic honey nut cheerios with one cup of skim milk. For lunch I would pack an orange or an apple or both, string cheese, some crackers, a cereal bar, and maybe some raisins or nuts and I wouldn't sit down and eat a whole lunch I would eat all of that throughout the day. For dinner I usually had some form of baked chicken and two veggies. It was boring, but it worked for me. After three years of off and on dieting and exercising, I had dropped 18 lbs and reached my goal weight.
I reached my goal weight in 2009 and maintained it for about 4 or 5 months. Then the holidays came and I gained 4 lbs (not bad I don't think) and had every intention of getting off that weight. I would've done it successfully too, but I got pregnant. :)
January 2010 I found out I was pregnant with my baby David. Over the course of the next 37 weeks, I pretty much gave up dieting all together. I ate what I wanted and I was pretty hedonistic about it. If I wanted it, I ate it. I gained 55 lbs. Not fun. I'm really gonna' try not to do that with my next pregnancy.
I had David in September of 2010 and when I came home from the hospital I had lost 20 lbs of that 55. So, really since I made no effort to lose that 20 lbs, it was just baby and fluid, etc...really I only gained 35, right? ha! Either way, my 6 lb 14 oz baby didn't quite weigh as much as we expected him to!
I prayed. I hoped. I wished. I WISHED I would be one of those moms who lost a ton of weight breastfeeding. ALAS, I was not that mom. I lost NOTHING breastfeeding. My body was having a hard enough time making milk, so needless to say, I couldn't diet while breastfeeding. I started to twice during the 11 months I breastfed and both times noticed a huge drop in my milk. So for the next 8 months, I kept the extra 35 lbs on. In May of 2011, I finally decided David was old enough that I could start dieting. At nine months, babies need more food than milk, so I decided my milk supply (which was already low) wouldn't be affected that much if I went ahead and started dieting.
I began with weight watchers, borrowing the kit from a friend. I quickly shed 10 lbs. That was nice!!! Then I went around 3 months with no weight loss. I quite weight watchers. ha! During this time, I had to learn how to exercise again. Once you stop, it's SOOO hard to get back into it. I began taking Zumba with friends, running and walking. I even ran two 5k's in the last year! What an accomplishment! I never thought I'd do that. Hilariously enough, this past summer the harder I worked out the more it seemed I didn't lose any weight. At some point, I lost 5 more lbs bringing my total to 15 lbs off by the end of September. Having started in May, I thought this was ridiculous! In October, my friend Windee gave me this revolutionary book named Skinny Chicks Don't Eat Salads. It was really helpful in figuring out how to eat and stay full and balance your blood sugar and diet without starving. I did the week long detox the book required and lost 5 more lbs bringing my total to 20 lbs lost of the 35 I needed to lose post baby.
In November I joined the gym. I began training with weights again and taking classes. I also got an iphone and began using the weight loss app. Since November, I've lost 5 more lbs. This has been a grueling process, but I am only 6 lbs away from my prepreggo weight and only 10 lbs away from my goal weight. I'm ready to celebrate because I'm only INCHES away from my goal. I SEE it, I'm visualizing it. I WILL make it! I won't stop! It's mine already.
Throughout this time, I've had friends who surpassed me. Friends who've lost WAY more or started after me and lost all their weight faster than me. While I celebrate their successes, I've learned through my continuing journey that my weight loss journey is just that. It's MINE! Not anyone else's.
Every pound has been a long spiritual process. I've prayed and asked for help and supernatural self-control. I've noticed that when I deny the flesh when it comes to food, it's easier to deny the flesh in other areas of my life too.
Don't skip this part: My goal is not to be skinny. Ok, I lied. That's some of my goal. My MAIN goal is to be healthy. God requires us to be holy in all areas of our lives, including managing our weight and health. He wants us to be good stewards of our bodies.
I want to honor Him. I want to trust that I can do ALL things through Him.
And it's MY journey... no one else's.
