So, I have a heavy heart. I've been really struggling in my relationship with God for months (since becoming a Mommy and not having so much time to HAVE a relationship with God). I was listening to this sermon in the car today, while driving to Sam's with David babbling in the backseat. The sermon was on Romans 6, the part that says, "Why should we keep on sinning, so that Christ's grace can abound more and more? If we have died to sin, we should no longer continue to live in it." I thought about the fact that, while I still feel chastisement and guilt and remorse for sin, I've been abusing God's grace over and over. THEN I went on facebook and found this old note I wrote that spoke EXACTLY to the issue that was on my heart. So I thought I'd "republish" the note here. I can't believe I wrote this: it must have been Christ writing it, because I do not write eloquently nor do I complete thoughts very well. Here's the note from a couple of years ago! God used it to speak to me again today.
So, I've been thinking alot lately about this verse: Hebrews 12:4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood.
At first, I didn't get it. What does it mean resisted to the point of shedding blood? Then it hit me like a light bulb (actually, someone just explained it to me, no revelation here). It means that in my daily walk with Christ, I struggle with sin. By "struggle" I mean, I try not to sin against God in doing things that are sinful but that nonetheless I WANT to do. I struggle with my shopping addiction - YES, it's an addiction - I struggle with overeating (SO TABOO, I know!) and I struggle with making sure I am respectful to my husband and others. I have anger issues, too - (Me?!?! Yes.) I struggle with not complaining - I really want to be a positive person. But in all my struggles to NOT sin, have I said NO to myself and my flesh to the point where it made me BLEED?! How HARD am I actually TRYING?! I know the Christian life is NOT in any form or fashion lived out of my own effort - it's totally CHRIST in me. But Christ lives in me, and Christ has power over sin, therefore I have Christ's power over sin within me. Romans says, "Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?" Other scriptures help me know, that it is my WILL that chooses to obey God. For instance, in Ephesians chapter 4 over and over Paul says, "Put away" or "Put on" ...other scriptures include, "Take every thought captive." "Run with endurance" "Clothe yourselves"...I could go on and on.
Do you know what I am saying? 1 John 2:3-6 says, "How can we be sure we belong to Him? By obeying God's commands. If someone says, 'I belong to God', but does not obey His commands, that person is a liar and does not live in the truth. Those who obey God's commands really do love Him and that is the way to know whether or not we live in Him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Christ did."
My heart's desire is first and foremost to have Faith in the Living God. I'm realizing more and more and more, the OBEDIENCE is a product of Faith. If I believe God will do what He says he'll do, and I have Faith that He is going to provide - then Obedience (which causes the FAVOR of God , Gen. 50:19-21 and Rom. 8:28-29) will be a product of my Faith. For example, if I have faith that CHRIST is the ultimate fulfillment NOT A COACH HANDBAG - then my obedience to God by not buying the handbag will follow. Another example, Do I really believe that God will justify me in every situation? Think about all the times you've been WRONGED, or I've been hurt and victimized over issues that made me angry. If my FAITH is in the fact that GOD justifies me (WE KNOW HIS WORD SAYS THIS), then the product of my faith will be the obedience in forgiving those who trespass against me and hurt me.
In my struggle against sin, I have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood. I get this really funny image of my trying to head out the door - money in hand - to go shopping and someone holding my by the wrists while I struggle towards the door and actual blood seeping from the grip in my wrists. Maybe that's kinda gross? Maybe kinda funny? I dunno. I don't have an answer to anything I am talking about - other than what scripture says. I'm just thinking out loud, on facebook.
What do you guys think of this? In your struggles against sin - how hard do you really try? Have you gone to painstaking efforts to keep sin away from you and your family? Internet filters, banning certain tv and movies from your kids, watching what you eat, read, and talk about? Gossip about? Think about?
Thought it would be cool to get your thoughts. I'd love to hear your comments!
In Christ Holy, awesome, POWERFUL Name,
Brittany
Scripture references:
1 John 3:9
Colossians 3:12
Romans 6:1
1 John 5:4-5
1 John 5:18