1 Timothy 4:12 Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
It's true, I've done it. Sacrificed purity for fashion. But that shirt was so cute...that dress was ADORABLE... here's the one that gets me every time: it made me look skinnier! So I tried googling the word wholesome. Would you be surprised to hear that the search results mostly produced food items? Organic this or that, wholesome and hearty mashed potatoes, wholesome food sure to increase your metabolism, etc. Today's topic might be a little touchy. I want to talk for a second about what it might be like if we truly had an attitude of wholesomeness in our every day lives.
Being a Christian woman in this day and age, in America specifically, is very hard. No lie. The first thing I notice, even when clothes shopping, is that the styles trickle down to every day department stores (i.e. Wal-mart and Target). Almost all shirts are fitted, v-necks, and designed to show off the breasts. (Don't get me wrong. I know most of you are not TRYING to show off your boobs. I'm just saying that in clothing they offer 9 out of 10 shirts that DO just that.) I had no idea what an issue this was until I started breastfeeding my baby. Always at the ready, modesty kind of went out of the window for a short while. Underwear is marketed towards slimming the body and making certain areas look curvier or bigger. Jeans are ridiculously tight, skirts are short, shorts are even shorter, and dresses are almost too scandalous to talk about! My husband and I were walking our local outdoor mall a few weeks ago and noticed that there were many young girls wearing shorts so short they might as well just be wearing underwear publicly. No joke. Am I saying that modern culture is an excuse to dress provocatively? No way. Am I saying that you can't find clothing that is wholesome and pure? Definitely not. Keep reading.
What does wholesomeness look like in this day in age? Where is the line between dressing in a fun, fashionable way but staying pure? How can I dress sexy for my husband but wholesome for other men? The last question is huge for me. I want my husband to think I am sexy, but I don't want other men to think so. Or do I? That's the touchy part. I challenge every woman to think about that including myself. Do I find satisfaction in attention from men other than my husband? Touchy question. Please know that I am not accusing anyone of anything here. Just asking for self-awareness and a little soul searching. All women like to be noticed or told they are beautiful. God made us that way. We want to be appreciated and loved. Maybe your husband does a GREAT job of telling you that you are beautiful and special. If so, then this may not be a problem for you. But sometimes, husbands aren't always perfect and life gets away from them. They forget that we need their attention, devotion, and especially their affirmation. We need to be the apple of their eye. When we are feeling unloved and unappreciated it's quite tempting to go look for attention elsewhere. Let me define what I mean by that. Some examples include: dressing so that you'll get a complement from a fellow male coworker, dressing in a way that draws attention to certain areas of your body, or dressing to increase your self-esteem rather than honoring God.
Can I be fashionable and wholesome at the same time? I think so. Definitely. Scripture says to be in the world but not of the world. There are several women in my life who I give props to for dressing impeccably well but modestly. They have an aura of beauty and don't need to exude sexuality to get attention. Men notice they are beautiful because of their spirit not their clothing. One example of these women is my friend Shelly. She always dresses adorably fashionable, but is never too good to wear a cardigan. Speaking of cardigans and cute jackets (aka A Christian Woman's BFF), they are the best tool to make a somewhat racy dress exude wholesomeness! Anyway, Shelly went to an extremely conservative Christian school. Every day she had to wear dresses and after 13 some odd years of this... I can tell modesty is apart of Shelly's every day lifestyle. She wears purity very well! She's a wonderful example to young women of how dressing appropriately can still be fashionable and beautiful!
The Bible says to offer our bodies as Living Sacrifices to God (Romans 12:1-3). It also says to not be conformed to the world but transformed by the renewing of your mind. Corinthians says that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, should Christ indeed live inside of you. And if a temple of God, then holy. And if your body is holy, then that means it is set apart for a special purpose and calling. God's purpose. God's calling. Ultimately it boils down to this: Is my body mine to dress or God's? Am I trying to build my own self-confidence by dressing in a worldly way? That's a huge soul searching question. Personally, I still have 25 pounds to lose. Baby weight. I find that dressing sexy and highly fashionable makes me feel better about my self-esteem since I no longer weigh what I used to. I have to constantly remind myself that my self-esteem is founded in who I am in Christ. NOT what I wear. That does not define me. In Christ, I am a beautiful daughter of the king! I am a princess who has been adopted into the family of God. Nothing can separate me from God's love and I am more than a conqueror through Him who loves me. I am being molded into His image and likeness with every increasing glory!
So I would love your thoughts on this topic. There are no definite answers. This is just a challenge, a call to think about what we wear. I know that I fail at this. I sacrifice purity for fashion. But God calls me to holiness in all things. To be like Him in all things. What do you think? I want to open this topic up to conversation. How can I dress sexy for my husband in a way that's still wholesome? If you are single, how do you think men will feel about you if you dress more modestly?
Lastly, what do you think are ways that honor God the most in this area?
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